Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
