Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
