I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
