is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
