Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just took my morning after pill in the library
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
