you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
