i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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