please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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