I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
