There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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