Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
