don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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