The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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