you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
