The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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