After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
