My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
