Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
