I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
