if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dick very happy bro
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
