she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
