can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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