walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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