i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
