New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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