Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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