Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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