I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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