So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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