i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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