I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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