I got chris browned last night
I'm gonna have a badass scar
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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