Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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