God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
