Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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