when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
