I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
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If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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