did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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