So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
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the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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