Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
