It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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