You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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