So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
