Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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