I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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