I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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