god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish you could order shots online.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
