Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
