Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
