Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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