Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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