haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
