What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Couch. On fire.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize