great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
