I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
