if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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