he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
