I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
