they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
