you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
